Good Woofy, Sukiroos!

I was online the other day, checking out a 'Sneak Peek' at Fall Fashions. It said that: 'SEXY THIGH HIGH BOOTS' are "IN", so I convinced MoM to buy me some........

"IN"... what exactly does that mean?  "IN-conceivable" is what that means if you try to walk in them! I mean, come on girls, do you honestly think that those long necked stilts are meant to be comfortable? How on earth do they expect us to play soccer or chase squirrels in those things. And I can only imagine the extreme depths of trouble that I would be in the first time I jumped on the furniture with them on.

They certainly aren't practical for my morning walk. Picture this: it's 7: o'am and MoM is just getting going. She stumbles into the kitchen and fixes your breakfast; kibbles and eggs… YUM! You gulp yours down hoping to get a lick in at your brother's bowl, only to be disappointed at the speed at which he can block your muzzle from it's intended target… dang!  (:o{            
                 

Wha…..? Oh yeah, 'boots'….....sorry!

Okay, so now breakfast is over, and your starting to feel a little 'uncomfortable'. You put on your new 'SEXY THIGH HIGH BOOTS' and now you're ready, waiting for that door to your potty-spot to be opened. Tap,tap,tap,tap….c'mon MoM, let's go, let's go, let's go! Ooooh Goody, here she comes!      Wooosh…  it opens and instead of you smoothly bolting through the door, sprinting gracefully across the patio, and lunging at full stride into the fresh morning grass; you trip over your own pointy toed beauties, catching the edge of the door wall with your back knee, causing you to suddenly pivot to the right in an uncontrollable tumble as you hit the pavement with one full side of your body, taking a 1/4 roll and finally sliding to a stop, belly-up. Then your bladder lets loose and you Pee all over yourself…….. Eeeeewwww!

As you lay there assessing the situation, you realize that your brother has just disavowed any knowledge of your existence and your MoM, who loves you, has kindly assumed a sympathetic position by laying on the kitchen floor on her back, so that you don't feel alone and embarrassed…… no ~ wait, what IS that I hear?     LAUGHING?

Oh, that is SO wrong!..... I hope she Pees herself!

As if that isn't bad enough, I now have to figure out a way to right myself and try to saunter off the patio, without limping. My new boots are scraped up, I'm looking more 'shabby' than 'sheik', and still feeling a little… damp, cuz… well, you know!

Mind you, this all started at 7: o'am when MoM got up to feed me, it's now 7:15 o'am and I have already lost my dignity for the day. I decide to take a break for a while and climb up on the swing  for a well needed nap, my first 15 minutes have been exhausting. Now remember, this has all occurred because some brainiac said that 'sexy thigh-high boots' are 'IN'.

I gotta tell ya, I did enjoy just laying out there for a while (healing), in fact I really don't think I want to move, but it's been and hour since breakfast and I'm beginning to feel a little 'uncomfortable'... again; 

 at least I'm dry now.

It's time I try out these new boots again so one by one I slide my legs off the swing and wobble to my feet. Hey… look at me… I'm standing…. And I look GOOOD! I'm feeling pretty good too! A little shake, shrug my shoulders, roll my neck a bit… oh yeah baby, I AM BACK! Suki Bouvier…Princess! High steppin in my brand new 'SEXY THIGH HIGH BOOTS'. Let's dance baby! I got this under c o n t r o l,  look at me, I am groovin in these boots; dance, baby dance….

So there I am on the patio bouncing around like I always do, having lotsa fun doing loops and spins and howling and having a grand ole' time in my new 'sexy thigh-high boots'. When It dawns on me that I REALLY need to hit my potty spot. Now I'm feeling pretty confident in my new boots and decide that I should show them off by bouncing across the length of the patio, broad jumping into the yard, so I go for it. Jump, bounce, bounce, jump, bounce…. LAUNCH! WEEEeeeee!  And I'm airborne… I'm sure I can make 8, 9 feet, horizontal, maybe more and cut my time to the corner of the yard in half, I'll set a new record today… YES! …………NO!

I forgot that my new 'SEXY THIGH HIGH BOOTS' had spike heals. Gives a whole new spin to 'stick the landing'. Yep, that's right, I hit the ground in run mode and that's as far as my boots went. I, of course went straight down on my chest, nose out ahead of me, plowing the way through the dirt and grass. My feet dangling behind me, exiting the boots as I slid away from them.

How embarrassing!

Once I caught my breath, I got back on my feet, gave a good snort to clear the bugs from my nostrils and turned to find one of those darn cats sitting in the window, glaring at me. I don't know what to call that look he had on his face, it was as if he had seen EXACTLY what he had expected to see; and then he turned and left.

I've decided to leave my 'SEXY THIGH HIGH BOOTS' right where they stand, heals stuck in the ground…. They'll make a perfect pee target for my brother!

OK, 'nuff said about that!